The Fairer Friend (this one is for the ladies)

A Girl’s Night Out can be the most fun a woman has all year. All the worries of family life, work and business, dating, finances are pushed to the distant corners of her mind as the music blasts, hands are thrown in the air, hips sway without a care and the girls let out all the juicy stories that hadn’t gotten an appropriate occasion to tantalize the trusted ears prior. Our girls are fun! This is definitely true. So I ask, why then throughout the rest of the year do women put their trust in the men or man in their life? Why do we see the women who would understand us in a special way and who give us an opportunity to be truly free and ourselves as a threat the rest of the year? What happens to the conviction of “girl power” and “women sticking together”? I don’t mean to imply that men are all monsters or dogs as is often said. We know why we love them after all. We know how it feels to even be in love with them. So it’s not that women should shun the boys. We know we need them (even just for the sole purpose God gave them to us for). What would be wonderful though is just as all around there is pressure to have a man and spend the rest of our lives with them, why not the culture where we can’t live without our girls? Why not appreciate them and trust them? Why have those sometimes-secret suspicions of their intentions? You know those stereotypes; man-snatcher, back-biter, career-hindrance? Can all women really have all these traits?

As a woman I say NO to this secret persistent animosity for my fellow woman. I say NO to clawing any woman seen next to my man and letting him get off scot-free at the same time. I say NO to playground-like shouting matches with the lady who accidentally bumps you with her trolley at the supermarket. Rather, I say YES to sharing sorrows with that friend I know understands the pains women go through. YES to objectively backing a sister with a good idea. And definitely YES to making more girl pals.

Ladies, let us be each other’s rock not each other’s stumbling block. Let us celebrate a woman’s success and not go green with envy or label her as a Jezebel. As a woman, you ought to know that women are more than capable of success without using devious methods to attain it. You have strength that even you don’t understand. We heal from childbirth and from heartbreak. We have to give our kind at least an ounce of credit. And let’s not forget to be the people we would want our fellow women to be: trustworthy, encouraging, loving, comforting and available for us. Stand behind yourself and your sisters for the change you want to see but don’t forget, paraphrasing from the great Michael Jackson’s hit: START WITH THE WOMAN IN THE MIRROR!

 

Have a lovely new day ladies!

Three Six Six

Here’s your day. You did wait four years after all…..

February is a significant month for me. I was born, for one. It’s the month that tends to be my pivot for change. It’s the month when my calendar has a few too many reminders and events, not that I mind though. It’s just that it ends up looking like I scribbled all over my calendar or I took note of every time I intended to take a shower. February is a heavy month, it’s no wonder I have acquired the alias ‘Fevrier’ a couple of times in my life.

Despite all this, this has been my most quiet month. Instead of taking my shine-time and using it to create that storm in the cup, change the world a little, I hid. I ran away like the little girl time has stolen away from me. Simply put, pride neglected: I was afraid; afraid that I may actually be good enough, GREAT ENOUGH!

Fear looms here and there; attacking whenever it sees fit. Fear loves those already fearful of itself. It emanates a laugh cultivated at the depth of its being. Fear can cut off your wings and leave you an Emu; spinning your keys round its forefinger when it finishes the job. It paralyzes your left leg at the goal and mutes your strongest note. Fear steals your laugh, your love, your spirit and with it each and every dream.

I can tell you what to do with fear. I can tell you only because occasionally am blessed with the ability to follow good sense and secondly because fear comes from within me (and you); the worst kind of psychopathic stalker.

So what do you do with fear…?
You mute it. You create a bubble in your ear and you only listen to the waves. You close your eyes for a single second; open them to a blur and you take the first step. You take that journey as though someone stole your money. If they lived ten thousand gates away from you, you walk past the first few, you stop for a breather, and you look down the road. It’s a frighteningly long distance, isn’t it? Right there is the make or break. Right then: Run! Run down the boulevard. Beat the wind with every push forward. Now you have the momentum you need. Kick down their gate together with the folly that made them believe they could come into your space, look at you in the eye with a sheepish smile drawn on their face, and mess around with the essence of your being. It’s not what they took; it’s that they dared take it from you.
Just like that, fear’s gone. It wouldn’t mess with you even if it were an 80-foot egocentric power-hungry bird with canines.

February is at its end. It’s a little hard to see it go without having taken a super leap; till this very moment of course. It’s the month most associated with love. I choose to fall deeply and madly. I’ll wake up, say those three words and mean it with all my heart. I’ll look in the mirror and it will be true. The person I see is he whom I truly will always be there for, all I have to do is live as I desire and never apologize for what makes me unique. Problem is; I have to choose. Will I be afraid to love this soul?

Here’s what I say; take what is yours: YOUR LIFE. Live it. You are the only person who has to live WITH it after all. Here’s an extra day. Fear didn’t bother to cater too keenly for it. Its rules varnish and you are free. Risk it, even only up to the next February :-). I can bet you that a year of life pushed to the limit will wipe away worries of years lost and could ripple into many more to be truly proud of. Feel free to hold me accountable for that statement.

This is the 366th!!